Here it is: the last post of NowBloMe,YO. I wanted to be funny. I wanted to be profound. Or maybe sentimental, in a sweet, by not cloying, sort of way. But I’m afraid that all I feel like doing tonight is showing up. Friday, you know? I’m tired by Friday, and I’m feeling it now.
I’m not going to lie about it; I really enjoyed NoBloNoMo. I didn’t think it was that hard, and although I didn’t always feel like doing it I managed to get it done. Some days were better than others. The best part, of course, was connecting with so many cool people all over the world each and every day for a month. My little corner of the blogosphere has been humming, and I’ve been digging on that energy. I have made new connections, and deepened old ones, and I’ve seen bloggers that I’ve known and enjoyed over the last year — but that didn’t know each other — find each other, through me. That’s a charge.
Also, the list of blogs I like to read daily has about tripled, and while that’s probably not great for my time-management goals, it’s fun. The thing about writing every day is that you never know what you’ll come up with. There are days that I’m sure I’ve got nothing, and so I started posting about how I had nothing, and while my fingers were tapping, I’d start thinking harder, and before I knew it I was off and running with something I actually liked. That’s the way with writing, right? You just do it. You just do it, and trust the process, and the words will come. Not always the words you expect, or maybe not the words you want, but if you show up to do the work, the words will meet you halfway.
It’s like the camera. If you don’t bring it with you, you can’t take the picture. And if you don’t take the picture, well, you’ve got nothing. You have to begin. You have to look through the viewfinder, at least. You have to press the shutter.
It’s a good lesson for me to keep in mind as I get ready to begin my MFA in January. Do the work and trust the process. It’s my expectations that paralyze me. Wanting a story to be something in particular. Wanting it to come out a certain way. Never even trying to write it for fear that it won’t be what I imagine. How stupid, right? Of course it won’t be what I imagine — I haven’t written it yet.
It’s like the camera. I set out to make a certain image, and in my attempt to make it I discover an image I never imagined.
It’s about showing up. Because if you don’t show up, you can’t do the work. And if you don’t do the work, you’ll never make anything. So here I am: showing up.
Now, then. Where’s my motherfucking prize?
