Seriously. I can’t seem to get it together. I have been daily making an effort to write, but I just can’t get a handle on the story I’m trying to revise. I’m just dicking around with it, and not getting anywhere. Can you tell it’s pissing me off?
I think I’m still recovering from my vacation. Returned to cloudy England from sunny France and am having to force myself to leave the house. And the weather’s not even bad here–it’s just not warm.
One good thing, actually a very exciting thing, is that Sugahill, a local cafe here in Sydenham, is displaying some of my work. I finally got it all up yesterday and thankfully, none of the photographs are embarrassing to me. I think I feared that once I blew them up they’d look terrible–all their flaws painfully visible in large format. I was actually afraid to open the package from the lab until the day I was supposed to hang them. I just didn’t want to know; I was afraid I’d lose my nerve. But, actually, they please me. We put them up on the walls and they all evoke a kind of mood. They go together, and I think they’re interesting enough to look at over a cup of coffee.
But, my story is stuck and so I can’t even enjoy the moment.
And I have so much to DO, and I’m not doing it, and so my blog is getting neglected. It’s the way it has to be for a little while. I have to get some good revisions done this semester. My time at WW is limited, and I will not waste it fucking around online, or even taking pictures. Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to take pictures–clearly I can’t help myself–but I have to prioritize. I have to, and I still haven’t told you anything about my vacation. Which was awesome. Maybe my best vacation ever. Maybe that’s why I can’t work. I can’t get over the best vacation I ever had.
7 Responses
August 19th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
I wish I was at Sugahill right now. It doesn’t sound like you’re neglecting at all. Sounds like you’re focusing — on good stuff.
August 19th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
What a bunch of CUTIES! Looks like one of OUR family get-togethers. LOVE that you said “Fuck” - I want to but can’t cuz my parents read my blog. And I’m 33 years old!
August 21st, 2008 at 3:57 am
So, which pics did you settle on? I can’t wait to see…please, divulge.
And your best vacation ever must have pictures to go with it. No excuses.
Not even WW. Please. Just one a day.
August 22nd, 2008 at 1:36 am
I think you miss your long lost sister.
xoxo, Aaryn’s FGM
August 24th, 2008 at 12:12 pm
You are trying too hard. Some things just may not get done. The story (stories) will come. Sit quietly for 30 min (well try 10) and be still. Do it regularly.
I love you. m @ sara’s
August 28th, 2008 at 10:14 pm
It sounds like you have post-Franco ennui. Totally understandable, but I hope it passes quickly.
August 29th, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Why not just let things slide for a while. Perhaps it’s time for a change?
Whenever I can’t write I go watch “Finding Forrester”. Works every time.
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