Seriously. I can’t think of anything. I’m tired of blogging every day, but I want to win a prize. So I’m trapped. And so are you.
I think I’m going blind. My eyes aren’t as good with little tiny things anymore, and that distresses me. I have to put my glasses on, and take my glasses off, and adjust the lighting. When I shift from looking through the camera to looking out at the actual world, everything’s all hinky. Sometimes it takes my eyes a minute to adjust.
I think maybe I need to do eye yoga, but I don’t know how. I saw a thing on bossy about eye yoga, where she just totally made fun of it. Which made me sad because I think I really need it. I need to look at the real eye yoga webpage.
And today on the train I was packed in so closely with people that I could smell their breath. Which is not a cool way to travel. Since I was practically cheek-to-cheek with these people, I analyzed their crow’s feet to see how old I thought they were. Because I am also fixated on and dismayed by my wrinkles.
I have wrinkles! I never thought I would. This girl on the train today only had the teeniest of very faint crow’s feet, and I remembered how my mom always told me to stay out of the sun and that I was damaging my skin and I could never get it back and that I’d be sorry. And I thought yeahyeahyeah. And now I have wrinkles, and I am sorry.
When did I get so old? I feel like it happened all of a sudden. I’m almost 40. I can’t believe it. 40 seems like my mother’s age. 40 is undeniably middle aged. I am a middle aged woman.
Oh my god.
I am so old.
9 Responses
November 22nd, 2007 at 1:43 am
You are NOT almost 40! I don’t believe it for a minute. You look about 25. Unless you’re using pictures from 15 years ago, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. Seriously, I thought I was reading a blog of a much younger, hip, urban chick.
P.S. I don’t think your posts are boring. I think the same thing about mine. It’s like I can’t think of anything to write about anymore. But I think people really enjoy the minutiae of every day life. It’s kind of like Seinfeld, a show about nothing. But it was genius.
November 22nd, 2007 at 1:51 am
These have been my exact thoughts lately. The thing is, unlike you, I really am almost 40! And the wrinkles, and how my body is falling apart, and how when Ezra shows me some tiny little something I have to hold it AWAY from my face, exactly the way my dad used to do when I was young and HE was old. Seriously, death is just around the corner.
And yet I don’t feel almost 40–not because I’m young at heart and all that crap, but because I’m still so completely immature.
November 22nd, 2007 at 2:31 am
My eyes have betrayed me, too. I had to get glasses this year, which came as a shock. While trapped in traffic today, I looked up from my phone and watched everything in the distance come into focus…slowly. It was like looking through the viewfinder of a cheap digital camera as it struggles to find focus. I’m trying to be amused about it, but dismay is nibbling at the edges of my psyche.
November 22nd, 2007 at 5:18 am
I won’t ask you how close to 40 you are - I will just say that I was born in the year of the dog so the big 40 is not too far around the corner. Although a Southern Baptist friend of mine who is is a bit older than me told me soon after she had the big birthday: “It is true what they say about being 40.” When I asked her what “they” say, she responded: “you are much more orgasmic.” So there is something to look forward to.
When Aida was 4 she asked me why I have a Christmas tree between my eyes - I have been much better about sunscreen moisturizer every day and wearing my sunglasses so I don’t squint so much.
The truth hurts.
November 22nd, 2007 at 5:26 am
I’m struggling too! Tired of posting daily. But I also want to be in the running for a prize so I’m keeping going.
I’m about to turn 39, and have impressive lines around eyes and mouth. I know exactly what I’m going to look like when I’m old, and I’m happy I’m not there yet.
And neither are you!
November 22nd, 2007 at 6:18 am
Yes, I am forty, and I find myself at Sephora fondling obscenely priced face creams. And when I was in my twenties, I haughtily announced to anyone who would listen that I would embrace my gray hair and never resort to color. I’m such a friggin liar.
November 22nd, 2007 at 7:08 am
Hey, when are you guys leaving on the 26th? I’m thinking of getting us tickets to Wicked but I didn’t want to ditch out early!
November 22nd, 2007 at 8:32 am
Ahem…what the fu*k are you doing eavesdropping on my inner dialogue?!? That’s private shit, sister. And then you go and publish it, to boot? Holy cow, woman! I suppose I should be grateful that you so kindly decided to leave out the part about how our noses continue to grow our entire lives and how distressing this is to someone who started out with a whopper of a schnoz in the first place. Yeah, things ain’t so much as lookin’ up around here when it comes to aging.
At this point, it’s about drinking lots of water and red wine and then giving serious consideration to Botox.
Hey, I gotta run. Time to take my Lipitor.
November 27th, 2007 at 12:38 am
Oh. My. Gah. Bossy totally was not making fun of the Eye Yoga, she was trying it because she is going blind as a bat. Although bats aren’t really blind, are they? Not at night, anyway. Well then, Bossy is going blind as the blind bat who long ago was made extinct due to Natural Selection. And oyvey, it’s not fun for anyone. Especially Bossy, who throws up a little when doing the eye exercises she now avoids. Avoids like she avoids bats. Etc.
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